I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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