i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We're too hungover to prance.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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