After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
