Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
