Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
