Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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