You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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