The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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