I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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