We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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