You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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