sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize