I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
