They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
As shirtless as possible
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
