So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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