someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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