I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
