You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
