therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
