do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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