So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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