morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sorry about my life...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
