repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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