i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
