My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
