Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
