So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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