Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
