oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
