i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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