It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
They left me at home... I'm a liability
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
