How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
