My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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