I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
then he tried to convert me to islam
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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