Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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