And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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