I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
