thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You made out with two different species that night
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
