He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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