people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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