guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
