ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
