Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
