I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
