if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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