Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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