Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
