Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
