im drinking this country out of the recession.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
