no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
