how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
