You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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