Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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