Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
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