I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
