Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
