You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
