My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
