only if we run a train.
done.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
