The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
