I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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