In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
