Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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