Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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