hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
