What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
