I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
