He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
